#Verizongate as told by...

#Verizongate as told by two lovely older women in my office:

Three days ago, the public became privy to the NSA court order for Verizon to hand over all customers' phone records. NSA's acquisition went into effect April 25th, though "they've probably been writing notes on us since the day we were born." 

"As far as we know, this order from the FISA court is the broadest surveillance order to ever have been issued," the Center for Constitutional Rights said in a statement. "Yeah, exactly. As far as we frickin' know. Think about all that crap they're able to hide from us. Next thing we know they're going to put microphones in our sandwiches" said the two ladies in my office.

Although the records are not allowed to go public and all the government is able to glean are call lengths and locations, "I'll still just randomly shout Arabic phrases in the middle of my conversations to get them worked up. Hell, they better come arrest me!" one office lady declared at the coffee machine. 

Reportedly, this news has not affected Verizon's stock value, which remains fairly high. It has come in though that the two women in my office are, "switching back to Nextel because [they] are not puppets to this delirious frickin' government."

When asked if this would change their texting habits, one of the ladies responded, "My what?"