|Mhm, yah, ok, I am wine drunk and am not listening.|
This guy went to Syracuse and majored in American Studies. You might have thought he would be a Finance or Business major, but you'd be mistaken. He didn't really get his shit together to impress his dad, plus he clearly has a knack for word play and nostalgic cheeky humor. We would go to a nice dinner with table cloths. One that maybe had two or three $'s next to it in NYMag.
He wears a fedora 6 days a week. Bowler cap on his day off.
If you were at a party with this dude, he would know at exactly at what point to start playing 90's nostalgia music. Which is cool, but he prides himself on it too much. And our date would consist of watching Youtube videos of sports bloopers.
Genuinely nice dude, and not like the 'nice guy' that the internet is suddenly hating on. OkCupid is still incredibly overwhelming to him and it is 85% luck, 15% slapstick humor that he managed to show up to the right place at the right time for your date (5pm, Happy Hour Nachos.) It'll be a fun date, but for some reason you won't be able to stop humming the Rocket Power theme song for a few days after.
Oh man, what is one thing this dude likes? Sports! Okay, okay, lets try hard to think of ONE MORE THING thing dude likes. Aw, fuck it, he just LOVES sports. You'll go to a pre-season baseball game which is super dope, but he won't notice when he spills an entire beer on your head from jumping up and down with excitement. Also, when he courteously asks you what you're interested in, and you mention liking Joni Mitchell and folk music, he'll just blurt out BOB DYLAN and smugly return his attention to the game.
*as always, I did not actually go on dates with any of these bachelors.