This morning I was walking back from a really great coffee shop, feeling jazzed, mostly caffeinated, and a little sweaty and I saw this VERY attractive guy. And he was rocking those like, hip, urban, ear plugs, and strolling his beautiful, slim, bike along with him. He probably ran the coffee shop I had been at, or like, works in an urban garden, or stretches leather for saddle bags for underprivileged kids.
Anyways, my immediate reaction when I saw him was to somehow walk more attractively and overall just emote my interest towards him through an intense stare/affectionate amble. But as soon as you start thinking about how you walk or try to actively make your walk sexier, it turns into the exact opposite of that. Also, it should be said, that there isn't really a way to walk incredibly sexy. It usually has to do with the mood, or the lack of clothes you have on, or the dim lit candles you've strategically placed around you.
So, because I had run out of my on-the-go candles, and because it was 34° outside and I will never love anyone enough to be cold and uncomfortable by my own will, I decided to just try and walk sexy.
But as it was mentioned, that is impossible. So what it really was, was me kind of rolling my shoulders and and angling my torso in his general direction. I'm sure NatGeo could do a whole half hour special on Kady Ruth's failed flirty body language, complete with narration by David Attenborough.
It probably looked like a slow motion, sensuous, electric slide. Yeah, and I guess that wasn't really his thing. Because he didn't stop his walk to come over and start dancing with me. He did however, notice me. But that was because I sort of shimmied into oncoming traffic and a car honked at me. (Though, I think this was my subconscious way of creating a Damsel-in-Distress situation.)
Hopefully I'll see this mysteriouso maestro again, and this time I'll have my candles or something seductively foolproof like rollerskates (jk those actually fall on my list of unacceptable accessories: along with neck braces and toe socks.)
If anyone has advice for sexy walking or how to instantly attract a stranger who is standing approx. 5yds aways, 1) let a sister know, and 2) patent those moves and write a book like this.
Bonus video:
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