The Sorority Arm

Happy New Years you beautiful baby back ribs! Did you kiss who you wanted at midnight? And by that, I mean did you drunkenly eat a Banh Mi and whisper delicately "You are the only one who loves me."

Well, I hope you did. I also hope you reconstructed the events of your evening through photos, tweets, and text messages. I, for one, decided to retweet a lot of people I don't know very well at midnight. So I guess some part of me was excited that that girl from my English Major Sophomore seminar's resolution was to exercise more. (We were ALL waiting for that one.) (jk)

Anyways, if you did Sherlock & Holmes your night by looking at photos, or you are a respectable human being and didn't have to, I'm willing to bet money that you or a lady in your party caravan was guilty of...the sorority arm.

THE SORORITY ARM! You know what it is. Made popular by Miss Universe Swimsuit competitions and The Little Orphan Annie.

[Ikea instructions for Sorority Arm: Face Camera, Shift your body so it is perpendicular to the lens, The arm closest to the lens is placed on hip with elbow bent, Make sure leg closest to lens is moved forward in a toe tapping pose, Hide intake of Swedish meatballs,]

It's the one size fits all arm slimtasticer! It's like, I'm at a casual kegger but also on a Milan runway.
It's like, please don't confuse me for Gisele Bundchen, I'm just her body double! It's like "Oh, who me? Fine, Okay!" *pose**pose*.

Sorry, I'm a hater to the nth degree.But I too have been guilty of that hand/hip action. Sometimes I just want the internet or the instagram to know just how many five pound weights I've been lifting during a Say Yes to the Dress marathon. (That sentence didn't make sense because I only lift two weights, but I lift them A LOT OF TIMES.)

I guess I'm just not crazy about it because no one will ever look at a picture of a line of ladies doing the sorority arm and nostalgically say "Aw, that was such a fun/crazy/adventurous night." They are going to be like "Bah, should have worn spanx!" or "Why did we all get matching upper arm tattoos??"

Overall, it really does make the subject look sassier, Michelle Obama-y, and in control of their environment. So, sorority arm it away. I guess, just don't sorority squat. Because that is actually the most unattractive and strange thing in the entire world and it makes it look like you peed yourself a little! Happy 2013!