'Beach Hair' is the hair one acquires if they have been sunbathing, ocean swimming, and shore drinking for at least four days in a row. It should be noted that 'beach' cannot be replaced with 'pool' because 'pool hair' is chlorine green, brittle, and does not connote the full effect of vacation. The last key ingredient to BH is luck. Poseidon, Venus, and the editors of Maxim magazine* get together and decide who is eligible for the gift that is beach hair. It is the perfect combination of crunchy salt water, being blonde, and wind tangled wisps. The trifecta of Gods then instruct all of the little sea monkeys in the sea to get their salon on. If perfected, beach hair can make shopping at Rite Aid look dreamy.
<---- However, the usual case of beach hair is clumpy, and too salty, and because it is salty you might chew on the ends of it because it tastes good. I mean, what? Here is a good example. Don't let the cute baby fool you into thinking this is cute hair. On a grown and fine lady, you would send that hair back to the wig shop. Maxim editors can't make it on these occasions and they send Betsey Johnson (sorry mama) for back up.
Anyways, I've been enjoying the beach to it's maximum and I've found that with my very fake and somewhat obnoxious blonde highlights my beach hair has reached new levels of fabulous. I think it also makes me better at beach bocce.
IMPORTANT IMPORTANT: Above is a photo of the best beach hair I've ever had in my life.
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